Score: 7

"SON. I'M DISSAPOINT."

submission: Shoe- "Egg"

date: December 10, 2009

Was expecting the song Egg by Mr. Bungle. :c

Not a big fan of the song. But the animation is really nice.

Score: 3

"Looked Promising"

submission: Sift Renegade

date: May 9, 2009

When the game started, it looked really promising. But the problems started appearing as soon as the first level ended. Why do you teach me these controls and then completely throw me off by going into an entirely different game mode? I would forgive if the gamemode was actually fun. It's a hard, boring and tedious bike ride. Finally, I get there, and fight a few generic guys by mashing the mouse button. Oh yeah, that is another thing, slicing enemies isn't as satisfying as it should be. You seemed to be going for that "Over the top stick gore" look, so why did you stop when it came to killing enemies? Then I thrown off again with a bad Time Crisis ripoff where I throw shurikens that I pulled out of my ass at this guy. After that, I a custscene comes on with possibly the worst voice acting I've ever seen in a flash game, ever. It's even worse that you tried to make it seem all dramatic ("They killed your brother!1!" :O) Then, oh yay, more repetitive bike riding. Except this time, every time you die you are forced to watch a pointless, unskippable cutscene, over and over and over. Oh joy. After watching the cutscene fifty times, I was fed up with the game and quit.

Improvements:
Add more gore?
Cut it out with the dumb bike driving.
Try to make the enemies less generic and give them weapons that actually damage differently.

Score: 7

"What the fuck?"

submission: In Utero

date: May 3, 2009

I never knew the inside of April's vagina was so scary. The game overall, was pretty meh. It was kinda fun but got pretty old really quick. I didn't like the upgrade system. Once you got maxed out, you just had to sit on the left side of the screen and hold down A and it would produce a giant wall of missiles, preventing anything from killing you. It would've been cool if you had power ups, would've made the game feel a bit fresher. Also, the ending felt a bit lazy. Once you kill it, the screen blurs and you see "Game Over" Come on, there isn't even a scene where you see the whatever the hell deformed fetus thing die or collapse or something. Which brings me to my next point: What the fuck is that thing? Why is there some weird deformed fetus living in April? Creepy. Anyways, pretty decent game, but not a real time killer. 7/10 3/5

Score: 5

"All shock value."

submission: goldilocks 2

date: April 13, 2009

I really enjoyed your first Goldilocks flash. It was very creepy, dark and mysterious. This one however, was all purely shock value, which is a shame really because I was expecting more of the same creepy flash that the first one was. I'll admit, I am a Catholic and this did disturb me, but that isn't the point. The murder was not realistic at all. Killing a priest is fucked up; but crucifying his dead body? What is next, is the murderer going to be slaughtering pregnant women and going on rampages in adoption centers? Oh and the blood splattering on the statues of Jesus and Mary, that was really necessary. You really must've run out of ideas in this one. Shock value is the cheapest move that horror movies use nowadays.

Score: 2

"Please stop making these"

submission: This Game is a Joke 3

date: March 22, 2009

The first was pretty funny. The second felt really forced.

And this one?

It felt as if you threw this together in five minutes, honestly. You're trying a bit too hard now. There were like four levels, it wasn't offensive at all, and there wasn't enough porn. This definitely isn't the type of game that should be made into a series.

Score: 5

"Same shit, different flash."

submission: Dubya-Doo 6: Last Episode

date: January 22, 2009

Don't you honestly think the "Bush is dumb lol" joke is getting a bit old now? Because honestly, just because someone has a hard time giving speeches (I'm sure you would have hard time addressing the entire country) and can mess up some words doesn't make him an idiot. Bush has kept our country safe from terrorism for 7 years. He may have not been the best president, but he is an honest man. Now as the worst president ever? I think Mr. Carter would like to have a word with you. I do have to say, I thought it was pretty funny how Obama came in all glowing like a savior, as people seem to always make him out to be and the UH noises he always makes every time he gives unscripted speeches. Overall, it was decently animated flash with a few funny jokes. But honestly, it's nothing new. When you've heard one Bush joke, you've heard them all.

Score: 9

"OOOOH U BROUGHT A TURKI"

submission: scr00g mcduc

date: December 16, 2008

Had so many awesome lines.

"Why do they call you Dodgers?" "HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW"

I love these types of movies and expect more from you.

Score: 3

"Why was this shit on the front page?"

submission: (Twisted) Cooking Mama

date: November 24, 2008

I didn't come to newgrounds to play some PETA propaganda game. Even if it wasn't PETA themed, I still would've thought it was dumb. It isn't really what I would call "fun" I just sort of dragged disgusting body parts onto a plate or move the the mouse in several motions. Plus the fact that you're saying people who eat meat are evil, even though eating other animals ic completely natural. No I will not become a hippe, tree hugging vegetarian because of this game. Neither will some propaganda filled PETA video of turkeys being slaughtered.

Score: 9

"Pretty much describes Gears of War."

submission: Gears of Awesome

date: November 22, 2008

I don't see how people are saying this has nothing to do with Gears of War. Gears of War is pretty much a bunch of testosterone pumped, beefed out guys who kill everything in sight. Personally, I thought this was one of your best awesomes. It's short and sweet and even though the ending was a tad too random the rest was very clever. "WHERE'S MY WIIIIFE" had to be the best line in the whole movie. I couldn't breathe at that point.

Score: 7

"A little too straightforward"

submission: Dark Cut 3

date: November 14, 2008

While I still enjoyed this Dark Cut, I believe it is inferior to the first and second. While it kept the grit and brutality of the second, it was a little too straightforward. I like how in the others you had a a set of tools to choose from. In this it instantly changes to the tool to need. This, I feel, dumbs the game down a lot. It also takes away from the surgery feel. Overall, good game with some very flashy graphics. Just too straightforward.